DW Training

**DaveMatthewsBand** · 05-04-2019, 11:06 AM

Probably need a better title...

At any rate, since we went full time a year ago I’ve noticed a lot of Dear Wives that are for lack of a better phrase “unskilled” at helping Dear Husbands with anything related to repairs or maintenance of their RV or vehicles.

In my opinion this puts a lot of undue pressure on the DH and puts DW in real peril should DH pass away, and leave her with all this equipment that she knows nothing about and her home parked either in the middle of nowhere or on private property with a mandatory departure date forthcoming.

This happens pretty often in a lifestyle that is dominated by senior citizens.

Not to be morose, but in preparing my wife for my eventual passing, I have been “training and supervising” her doing all the troubleshooting and repairs for the truck and trailer, for the past few years.

The obvious goal being once I’m gone she can handle any issue that comes up and won’t be taken advantage of, due to a lack of knowledge of how things work.
She’s done basic plumbing and electrical at our house. I taught her how to use a variety of power tools and she built a shop table and a custom bed frame, sanded and stained same.
We’ve gone over mechanical and hydraulic systems as well. She knows how to use the torque wrench, change tires, change the oil, check fluids, change out windshield wipers, batteries, check brake pads, and knows the names and functions of all the components of our solar setup.

She also did all of the troubleshooting on the Reflection’s water heater when it stopped working. She worked with Grand Design to get a local mobile repair tech out to replace the board and got GD to reimburse us.

She will eventually be able to back the trailer in by herself and sharing in the driving while towing, even though she did mention if I pass, she will continue this lifestyle but she’ll be selling the truck and trailer and buying a small class C that she can easily drive and park.

: )

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**TucsonJim** · 05-04-2019, 11:23 AM

This is a great topic even though it may be a little painful to discuss.

My better half can perform basic maintenance as needed. But the big issue with her is her reluctance to ever get behind the wheel of the truck with the trailer in tow. She won't move it five feet, and I respect that. I have a cardiac history, and one of my biggest concerns is her being stranded hundreds or thousands of miles from home if something happens to me. With that in mind, we purchased a Good Sam Travel Assist policy. For $99 per year, it covers all the things I'm concerned about. It will get her, the RV and our pets home if I'm incapacitated or deceased. That's pretty reasonable insurance in my opinion. Here's a link to the policy if anyone is interested:

Good Sam Travel Assist

Jim

**Don and Brenda** · 05-04-2019, 11:46 AM

Tough subject but so real. I have started getting her used to setting up the rig and we too have purchased travel assist though from FMCA

**zadiemay** · 05-04-2019, 12:04 PM

DH’s

To add some humor to this topic... we don’t want to know...then it is just another thing we have to do....

(But in all seriousness, my hubby married me for all my tools! ie: compound mitre, cordless drills etc that I accumulated with much enthusiasm when working on my rental before we married.)

It is good to have the skills, just don’t make us use them all the time! [emoji2960][emoji56]

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**BigDaveZJ** · 05-04-2019, 12:17 PM

My father in law took care of most of this for me. My wife can do just about everything I can, some things better even. The only time I ever really need to get involved when she's working on something is when she doesn't have the physical strength to do it herself. She's built several of her own Jeeps, and definitely takes pride in being able to do her own work. She knows her way around our shop just as well as I do, and can even lay a prettier bead than I can with our MIG welder.

There's just as much stuff that we know nothing about too that they take care of us on. When setting up camp we each have our "tasks" that we generally handle, but each one of us knows what the other is doing and how to do it ourselves. We just play to our own strengths when it's possible.

Driving is a big one too for a LOT of people. It can be quite intimidating pulling an RV. My parents just got their first one, and my dad hasn't towed a trailer since the mid 90's. My mom was trying to help him back it up, and it was definitely the blind leading the blind. A patient teacher is incredibly valuable when pushing someone outside their comfort zone. When towing, we find it easier for my wife to get comfortable with it if I'm not in the truck. We usually take a 2nd vehicle anyways as we do a lot of 4 wheeling, so I'll follow in one of the Jeeps and use the CB to help be a second set of eyes for her.

**acadiaforever** · 05-04-2019, 12:45 PM

A good topic, and one Kathe and I will have to be more conscientious about.

Except for the driving. We are approaching 19,000 miles on this trip and if I have 200 of those, it is a lot!
-Al

**JColeman** · 05-04-2019, 01:29 PM

My DW has a pretty good understanding of emergency tools. Phone and credit card will get you out of "most" situations but it never hurts to have basic knowledge of systems and procedures. If we are hooked up on the road, she is capable of pulling it to a nearby safe harbor if she needs to. If we are disconnected, leave the darn thing and take the truck. That's what insurance is for.

**DaveMatthewsBand** · 05-04-2019, 02:18 PM

I just wanted to add that I realize there are many women capable of and much better at working on our rig than I am.
I’m just pointing out that, based on what I’ve personally seen, over the past year of being on the road and living in and around RV’s, the majority of wives are simply bystanders when it comes to maintenance and towing.
The main reason for my post was concern for the welfare of DW’s around the world after losing their spouse.
I worry about that kinda stuff.
Because I’m a big softy.

: )

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**Dick Noble** · 05-04-2019, 04:03 PM

I am convinced that mothers pass to their daughters, while in the womb, how to train males.

**The_Traveling_Neelys** · 05-05-2019, 08:57 AM

Thank you so much for this timely post! I am truly the one who gets in the passenger side and sleeps while we are driving. I know almost nothing about our RV, except the phone numbers to Good Sam, AAA, and our dealer. But that is about to change

Yesterday DH and I attended a Towables 101 seminar. We spent an hour talking about batteries. The good thing is DH knows what kind of learner I am; so after the seminar, DH took me to our RV and explained everything again. I feel very confident about the battery. Over the next few months, he said he will do this with the main components of our RV.